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How to Face Failure & Rejection? |
| Date Added: August 18, 2009 04:59:33 PM |
| Author: tilak |
| Category: Entertainment: Sports Entertainment |
| Jennie was tall, slim, good-looking, had lovely, long hair and was articulate and charming. So I just could not understand it when she withdrew from a beauty pageant being organised by our club. It was a contest I thought she would win hands down. "Because I may not win," she said when I asked her why, she was withdrawing. "I just couldn't face that failure, that rejection." I was taken aback. Had she not heard the proverb about failure being the stepping stone to success? And why had she used the word rejection? "Failure means rejection. For instance, if a participant isn't crowned beauty queen, it means that the judges have rejected that person," she explained. "And rejection is far too painful to tolerate! Yes, rejection is painful and it does deal an often unbearable blow to our self-esteem. We remember each small rejection for years - often all through our lives. But, as it did in Jennie's case, fear of rejection often prevents us from taking chances and this could well prevent us from achieving our full potential. But both failure and rejection need not traumatise us, if we know how to deal with them. They can be, if handled correctly, blessings in disguise and can lead us to successes we could have never achieved otherwise. For this to happen, we have to learn to cope with failure and rejection. This requires some introspection and will-power, but it is really something all of us can do. Failure and rejection Jennie had equated failure with rejection. But rejection is actually something personal while failure is not. Rejection is painful because we take it personally, but failure need not be painful if we don't take it personally. The embarrassment factor Most of us can actually face failure and even rejection quite well - as long as other people do not come to know about it! If we are reamed out by our boss in private, we may not mind too much. But if we were scolded before even one co-worker, there is no way we can console ourselves. This is because wondering what other people will say or think about the incident, facing their teasing us or even listening to them commiserating with us is humiliating and very, very painful. But can't we deal with embarrassment? Yes, we can! Some people deal with it very easily by talking about the incident themselves and expressing their pain and anger to friends. The healthy way of dealing with embarrassment is to laugh it away. If you make a fool of yourself in a public place, tell the story to people in a humorous way and laugh with them at yourself. Not only will you get over your embarrassment, you will also spread a lot of goodwill around. Also, tell yourself that the embarrassment will remain only in your memory - not in the memories of other people. They do not really have the time to think or talk all that much about you! Think before you act Extreme reaction to failure and rejection can be read frequently in the newspapers when people commit suicide. Would any of these people have reacted as violently if they had waited a little before acting? No, the majority of them would not have. Wiser counsels would have prevailed. These people would have realised that they were not the only ones caught in such situations. They should have cooled down, thought the matter over, taken the advice of people they trusted. Then, they would have reacted very differently and would have tackled the situation with more maturity and a cool mind. The lesson to be learnt then is to take time to react. You may find out that you were completely wrong in the conclusions you jumped to. The real reason behind the rejection Whenever you feel that a friend has rejected you, introspect about the "rejection" and you might come to some surprising conclusions. These actually tell you that you have been rejected not because you are not good enough, but because you are too good! Or, it may be something quite unconnected with you. Pain and the closeness of the relationship When Amy became involved in her new and exciting job, she didn't have any time for her friend Fiona. Thus Fiona felt rejected and hurt. But after a few months, Amy came on one of her now-rare visits. She began to pour out details of Did you find this article useful? For more useful tips and hints, points to ponder and keep in mind, techniques, and insights pertaining to credit card, do please browse for more information at our websites. http://www.yoursgoogleincome.com http://www.freeearningtip.com Self Improvement, Handling Failure |
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